Remember When...

... the my world stopped turning. I sure do. It's so hard to believe that it has been one year since our world stopped turning. In a matter of seconds it began standing still. We didn't know how we would go on. We didn't know what the days to come would hold. We didnt' know how we would even be able to get out of bed. How would I be able to even think about taking care of not only myself, but the baby in my womb? How could we possibly love another child as much as we loved Kynadi when it seemed we had just lost our life. We didn't know...well anything, except our that our baby girl was gone, our home was empty, our hearts were shattered, our perfect life had turned disastrous, and our world stopped turning.

Now one year later, we've overcome A LOT. We've overcome fear of the uncertain, we've overcome the "just wanting to give up" syndrome, and we've overcome all of the "firsts"...the first halloween, thanksgiving, christmas, valentines, easter, mother's day, father's day, & birthdays without her. We have SURVIVED.  I almost feel as if we have achieved some greatness, because it is a year that in the beginning we thought we would never make it through, but God doesn't give up on us nor does He let us give up on ourselves.  Before Kynadi passed away, I admit I was the first one to be judgemental towards each and everything. Now, I am the first one to step up and say, wait a minute I'm not walking in their shoes, and I dont' know what is going on in their life.

It takes me back to a time when I was (I believe) in junior high or high school when the "W.W.J.D. and F.R.O.G." acronymns came about. With this being said, Fully Relying On God is exactly what we have done every day of this past year. We have relied on God to carry us through this past year, more than we ever have before. He truly does not give us more than we can handle.  Every day we have been carried through on "angels wings". Not a day goes by that we don't cry for her, and not a day goes by that we don't feel our precious Kynadi's presence. The day Kade was born, we knew Kynadi was with us with how easy my labor, delivery, recovery were. We knew God sent her to show us that everything would be okay and that we would be able to love a child again. It reminds me of the chorus of one of my favorite Alabama songs as a child, and also the song that was played at Kynadi's funeral:

                                        "Oh I believe there are angels among us
                                          Sent down to us from somewhere up above.
                                          They come to you & me in our darkest hours,
                                          To show us how to live, to teach us how to give,
                                          To guide us with the light of love."