On Angel's Wings....

A short poem I wanted to share:

On Angel’s wings you were taken away,
But in my heart you will always stay.

I will hear your whispers in the tallest of trees,

Feel your love in the gentle summer breeze.

And when I find I miss you the most,

Inside our beautiful memories

I will hold you close.

You are my angel watching over me

With the comfort and blessings you bring,

You embrace my heart, and hold it close

Forever on Angel’s Wings.

Remember When...

... the my world stopped turning. I sure do. It's so hard to believe that it has been one year since our world stopped turning. In a matter of seconds it began standing still. We didn't know how we would go on. We didn't know what the days to come would hold. We didnt' know how we would even be able to get out of bed. How would I be able to even think about taking care of not only myself, but the baby in my womb? How could we possibly love another child as much as we loved Kynadi when it seemed we had just lost our life. We didn't know...well anything, except our that our baby girl was gone, our home was empty, our hearts were shattered, our perfect life had turned disastrous, and our world stopped turning.

Now one year later, we've overcome A LOT. We've overcome fear of the uncertain, we've overcome the "just wanting to give up" syndrome, and we've overcome all of the "firsts"...the first halloween, thanksgiving, christmas, valentines, easter, mother's day, father's day, & birthdays without her. We have SURVIVED.  I almost feel as if we have achieved some greatness, because it is a year that in the beginning we thought we would never make it through, but God doesn't give up on us nor does He let us give up on ourselves.  Before Kynadi passed away, I admit I was the first one to be judgemental towards each and everything. Now, I am the first one to step up and say, wait a minute I'm not walking in their shoes, and I dont' know what is going on in their life.

It takes me back to a time when I was (I believe) in junior high or high school when the "W.W.J.D. and F.R.O.G." acronymns came about. With this being said, Fully Relying On God is exactly what we have done every day of this past year. We have relied on God to carry us through this past year, more than we ever have before. He truly does not give us more than we can handle.  Every day we have been carried through on "angels wings". Not a day goes by that we don't cry for her, and not a day goes by that we don't feel our precious Kynadi's presence. The day Kade was born, we knew Kynadi was with us with how easy my labor, delivery, recovery were. We knew God sent her to show us that everything would be okay and that we would be able to love a child again. It reminds me of the chorus of one of my favorite Alabama songs as a child, and also the song that was played at Kynadi's funeral:

                                        "Oh I believe there are angels among us
                                          Sent down to us from somewhere up above.
                                          They come to you & me in our darkest hours,
                                          To show us how to live, to teach us how to give,
                                          To guide us with the light of love."

Wordless Wednesday...

Happy Hump Day Everyone!!!

Kade's 1st Fourth!

(Yes, I am a few weeks behind!)

We had a very busy July 4th weekend. With trying to get everything in line to open our new feed store on Tuesday the 5th, we had very little time for relaxing, but we did manage to sneak in a few fun moments.

Friday night, Kade slept right thru enjoyed his 1st fireworks show at the dirt races. This night, Kelly & Joey brought Kolton out to see the fireworks.

 Needless to say, he & Kade had the same thoughts in regards to them: they weren't enough to lose sleep over.

Saturday, we spent time up at the new store, and then time with my family (although I didn't get anyt pics here). We also went out to Kelly & Joey's house Saturday evening for a BBQ with some of our friends from high school. It was so fun to get together with old friends & now all of our kiddos. We've decided this will be a few times a year kind of thing.

Monday, we spent our actual 4th gearing up for the opening of our store & finally some poolside relaxation!

Remembering "The Birthday"

(sorry for the photo overload, as we want to document this for ourselves)

wearing her princess crown for her birthday

Kynadi's 2nd birthday this year was far harder than I thought it would ever be. We knew we had to celebrate remember her birthday in some way. It was a day that we couldn't just let pass by. It was the birthday we were suppose to have all of our family & friends at, enjoying a Mickey Mouse cake with two candles blowing in the wind, & watching her tear into her gifts.

However, none of this was the way it went. There were no friends to remember her day, but just our immediate family.

There was no Mickey Mouse cake, just a simple sheet cake with sprinkles but no candles.

There were no party balloons, only the pink balloons we sent up to her. 

There was no watching her tear into her gifts & playing with the toys, but just the sweet momentos left for her at her grave or the pretty flowers sent to us at work to help us through the day.  

It was exactly the way I NEVER planned to remember her birthday.

Justin and I woke up craying and we went to bed crying, but with the support, prayers, and love from all of our friends and family, we made it through the day. I believe this has been the hardest day yet in this journey we are on. What we wouldn't give to hold her just one more time. Mommy & Daddy love you baby girl!

A Birthday in Heaven...

I found this poem on the internet, and thought it so fitting for our precious baby girl!

It's so very hard to remember her birthday without her!

I heard you crying yesterday

And felt your heart sent love.

So I'm sending you this message now

From Heaven up above.

You're wondering if I'll celebrate

My birthday way up here,

I know your missing me today

I feel your essence near.

God planned a special day for me.

He told me with a wink

He ordered me a special cake,

it's Angel Food I think.

I'm getting lots of hugs from God,

He's really good at that.

And every time that I walk by

He gives my head a pat.

Balloons will fill the streets for me,

They float up through the clouds.

And we have lots of clowns up here

that make us laugh out loud.

There is a birthday carousel;

Jeweled horses ride the wind,

With music playing oh so sweet

the magic never ends.

I've made so many friends, you see

We laugh and play and sing.

We ride our bikes & play jump rope

And sleep in Angel's wings.

We'll have our cake & ice cream

And open gifts, suprise!

But we don't blow out the candles,

Instead they light the skies!

What I wouldn't give to be living these moments

again for a 2nd time!

Happy Birthday in Heaven sweet Angel!

It's a whole NEW World...

 Although Justin has been in the feed business his entire life and I have been since we started dating, we've decided to spread our wings & fly (or at least try)!  That's right, it's gonna be a whole new world for us!

We've decided to open our own feed store in Whitney, TX, and go into business for ourselves.  We will be adding tons of new inventory & making many improvements to the building!  The feed store we have purchased was previously the "Rockin S Feed & Supply" Store. However, we've decided to rename the store. Our new name is....

"KYNADI FEED & SUPPLY, INC"

Yep we've named the store after our precious baby girl! Kynadi was at work every day from the day she was two weeks old, and only "called in" on an occasional day to stay home with MaMaw or MeMaw.  We feel this was our calling to move on and continue to heal from her passing. We know she would be soo proud! In fact, I know she was at the store with us on our second day here. After lunch, the lights in my office, and only my office, would dim and come right back up to bright!

Look for more pictures & exciting news as we startt on our new journey as a family!

 It's going to be a whole new experience for us. It's make it or break....Pray for us, wish us luck, & most importantly, COME SEE US!

Happy 4 Months Kade:

Kade, you are 4 months old today! Mommy and Daddy just can't figure out where the time is going. You are growing up way too fast for our liking right before our eyes. This month was a big month for you as far as milestones reached! You have learned to do so much! You amaze us everyday with how you are changing and growing up.

 

Kade's 4 MONTH Stats:

Weight: 13lbs 14oz (15-25 percentile)

Height: 24 inches (10-15 percentile)

Sleep Patterns/Arrangements:

- continues to sleep in his pack & play in mommy & daddy's room

- sleeps between 9-10 hours at night

- takes 1-2 thirty minute naps (on a good day) with a very occasional longer nap

Eating Habits:

- 5oz formula every 3-4 hours

- 1 tablespoon of rice cereal once a day

- as of today we are venturing into the world of fruits & veggies!

Clothing / Diaper Size:

- Mostly 0-3 month clothing with the exception of a few newborns that still fit perfectly

- Some 0-3 still swallow him depending on the brand & make

- Size 1 diapers with still plenty of room to grow!

Milestones:

- Continues to love his hands & especially chewing on them

- Has found his feet & loves to play with them

- Continues to raise his head & hold it with good control

- Has began eating cereal from a spoon & loves it

- Learned to roll over from back to tummy & tummy to back

- Has figured out how to move around in the bathtub

Odd's & End's:

- Continues to be a mommy's boy

- Continues to want to be rocked before naps & bedtimes

- Loves the bath still

- Loves to play with his toys

- Chews on anything & everything

- Continues to battle acid reflux & baby eczema

- Continues to do well on the Similac Sensitive
- Attended his 1st Dirttrack race